Quietly in love
by quickquotetales
Summary: I didn't expect much from last episode, I just expected some. Here's some. [Ad-11x22] A/N: Sorry for the confusion! I'm not making a story out of this! These one-shots were just meant to add to 11x22! COMPLETE!
1. Death

[April]

Alex walked down the hall from the patient room they put Mer in and hooked her up, feeling hollow somehow. He looked up only for a second when someone small rushed by him, colliding into him, making his lab coat fly up and his stethoscope slide down. Alex furrowed his eyebrows when catching the device and narrowed his eyes at who he then made out as Dr. Bailey, his heart immediately tearing when seeing her distraught face. She rushed on, doubling back at his face and they shared a second of grief, before he dropped his eyes to the floor and walked on. Pierce had gone down to see the kids, Torres had gone into surgery with Amelia, Richard and Owen were with Mer, it was just him now and for the life of him, he didn't know what to do with himself. He was supposed to call Yang, they had told him to do so, he was supposed to talk to their friend about her best friend's husband. _Dying._

 _What the fuck?_

They were only in their mid-thirties. Well, at least Alex was. And Mer and Derek, they'd just made up. Everything was going to be okay between them. No more Mer in his bed in the middle of the night, no more rants over countless tequila shots, no more snarky remarks towards his surgical career. _Well, he wasn't so sure about that. Anyways._ No more of it all. Just normal friends again, friends with a highly talented surgeon, having inherited a highly renowned name in their business, having married another kick-ass surgeon who had gone to work for the president for God's sake, who had been doing ungraspable neurosurgical research. Who had survived a shooting in his childhood, a dry-gone marriage, a wife cheating on him, a friendship lost and then found again, a freaking hospital shooting, or let's say, a gunshot wound to his freaking chest, a plane crash. Had survived so many deaths and losses, had saved so many lives with his own hands and brain. And now he was dead because he had had a freaking car accident and the neurosurgeon at that freaking hospital hadn't known how to take a 911 seriously? _Well,_ now that he thought about it, he didn't know if or what to take as fact from Mer's soft mumblings when they had tried talking to her. He just knew that Derek was dead. As in dead. He seriously was dead.

 _What the fuck, right?!_

Alex took a deep breath and got out his phone from his lab coat, meaning to call Yang, when he spotted the A as in Addison Montgomery amongst his contacts, his guts dropping. All those people who had no idea. All those people who they'd have to inform. All those people that were going to grieve. Alex felt weirdly hazy, it just… it was so absurd. Of course he knew how to deal with death, they had death on their hands all the freaking time. He'd had people die that he had once loved or been close to. Derek Shepherd hadn't even been close to him. Still, everything inside him was heavy when he just thought about the ramifications of this. Professional, and personal. Meredith was now _widowed._ Their young kids half-orphaned. Thinking of it. Does _widow_ apply to you if you're divorced? Alex shook his head at his strange thoughts, not knowing what was going on with him. He gave the list of contacts a push upwards to get to Yang.

 _How in the world am I gonna say this?_

He felt himself stop in the middle of the hallway, sensing as people walking behind or next to him gave him irritated glares, gruff remarks, not caring about them at all, just asking himself just what it was he was gonna tell Yang. He reached up and rubbed his forehead with his spare hand, thinking. There wasn't a way around this, anyways, so why push it out, right. Alex tapped the screen shortly, instantly putting the phone towards his ear and looking up, cancelling the call a split second later, just before he was put through to the line and pocketed his phone, walking up towards the nurses' counter. That's _why_ you push it out. He moved closer to stand right behind Jo, burying his nose in her neck that was unusually naked, freed from all her curly hair since she was wearing a scrub cap and his big palms were rubbing up and down her upper arms, in a soothing motion. Well, a much more soothing oneself motion than anything else. He sensed her turning her head when realizing his appearance, him kissing her shoulder as a hello. Jo was finishing something up on the tablet before she turned around, Alex having placed his arms on either side of her, restricting her to the counter. He saw her small smile falter at seeing his face, and panic set on her own. Her left hand grabbed the front of his lab coat and she inched the tiniest bit closer.

"What's going on Alex? Is everything okay?" she asked him and he could hear fear in her voice. Alex looked back at her emptily, hearing himself breathe rather fast. After a moment, he took her soft small hand that was holding onto his lab coat into his and pulled her towards the next best empty room, closing the door and the blinds and leaning back on the conference table. "You're scaring me, what's going on?" Alex sighed and looked on the floor before rubbing his eyes, all of a sudden feeling exhausted. He looked back up when he felt Jo's hand on his forearm and her step in between his legs.

"Derek Shepherd has died in a car accident last night," he said the words out loud, for the first time. Jo yanked her head back as if he had just yelled at her or something, staring at him in disbelief. She shook her head in the tiniest motion, shaping the letter W a few times on her lips, never getting the words out properly though.

"W-w-what?" she croaked after a couple of failed attempts, clearing her throat uncomfortably right after. He just nodded. She kept shaking her head and she wanted to say something, but then she just licked her lips and took a deep breath. "Are you serious?" she asked him in a low whisper. Alex bit his lower lip and nodded again, dropping his eyes to her hands that she kept rubbing on her thighs as if she was wiping off sweaty palms. He reached out slowly, matching them with his and pulled her closer, hugging her to him, his head against her stomach, her arms encircling him. They stood there for a while, not saying anything. When he pulled back and looked up at her, he watched her lose a silent tear, wiping it away angrily when he caught her at it and looking at the closed blinds, away from him. Alex pushed away from the edge of the table and stretched to his feet, pulling her into a full hug, meeting some resistance. "Don't, Alex, I'm fine," she wiped away more tears, but he just kissed her head, looking down at her. She looked back up at him with glazed over eyes, deeply genuine. "How is she?" Alex closed his eyes and let out a sharp puff of air through his nose, as if saying _yeah, I'm supposed to be the one knowing that, right._

"I was supposed to call Yang," he said instead, making her nod. "I couldn't do it yet. I just… don't know what to say," he admitted. Jo nodded again.

"How about I'll stay with you?" Alex looked back at her gratefully and nodded. He leaned back down on the table, whereas Jo sat down next to him, snuggling into him from the side, her head on his shoulder and her arms entangled with his, their fingers entwined, while he put his phone against his ear again. Jo found herself kissing his shoulder repeatedly, making him squeeze her fingers in return. She stroked her thumb across the back of his hand, watching herself do it, trying to stay calm, breathe regularly, not drive herself crazy with panic. Alex was right here with her.

"It's me," she heard him say without much tone to his voice. "Stop talking," he sounded like it should have come across as irritated but ended up sounding exhausted. "I have bad news."


	2. Funeral

[Funeral]

"Hey," Jo walked into the kitchen, smiling at Arizona, smiling even a little bit wider when seeing Sofia wave at her from her position on her mommy's hip. "Hi beautiful," she greeted her with a cheery pitch to her still sleepy voice. She'd never had much to do with the kids of her superiors but ever since Arizona had seemingly moved in with them full time now and wasn't planning to move out anytime soon, she'd had gotten to know Sofia on different occasions and they'd hit it off instantly. "Have you come to see mommy?" The young one nodded, making her smile.

"Hey, would you," Arizona voiced towards her, making the younger doctor look up at her curiously, watching her rub some wet paper towel on her collar, "take her for a minute, I got this all messed up and this is the only black… _appropriate_ thing I have to wear for today," she seemed irritated.

"Sure," Jo focused on the little princess, holding her arms out, Sofia sliding over in positive anticipation, giggling. "Not that I think you need to be carried around, little miss… or let's say big miss," she talked to the kid playfully. "Buuut, you're gonna help me pour my coffee, won't you?"

"Yes, I will," Sofia's high voice sounded jolly. Jo smiled and carried her over to retrieve a mug from the cupboard.

"You're getting heavy, you know that?" Jo heaved Sofia onto the counter, standing in between her legs to secure the little one who was patting her own belly.

"That's cause I like eeating so much," she told her babysitter without hesitancy, making Jo chuckle.

"Oh, you do?" she cocked an eyebrow. "What's your favorite then?"

"Choclate pie!" Jo smirked, nodding at the kid in acknowledgment.

"Mhm, yeah, that sounds gooood," she widened her eyes at Sofia. "You wanna know a secret though?!" she narrowed her eyes immediately after, bent down and moved her finger like a not to be trusted fairy tale witch to get Sofia to lean in too. The girl just giggled in anticipation. She leaned closer to her ear and whispered. "My favorite's… little itty bitty baby girls," she announced gleefully before starting to tickle the little one and nuzzling her nose in the girl's neck, making her screech and laugh, hiccupping with her short breathing.

"Oh my, oh my, Miss Jo sure seems to have become your best friend lately, hasn't she?" Arizona looked up from her shirt and smiled at them.

"Shesh eeating meup!" Sofia chucked out between chuckles. Arizona joined in. When they had all calmed a little, Jo reached for the coffee finally and took a sip.

"You should start thinking to have your own soon, you know," Arizona said completely out of the blue, Jo choking on the first sip of morning coffee and coughing wildly, Sofia gently patting her back. Jo felt herself blush.

"Um, come again?"

"You're good with them," Arizona nodded towards Sofia, smiling at her knowingly. "You should have your own. I know Alex isn't the problem," she winked at her. Jo blushed even deeper when Alex strolled in, seeming stressed.

"I'm not? I usually am," he rushed by Arizona and got a bottle of water out the fridge, checking his pockets for keys and wallet. "What are we talking about?"

"I was just sayi-," Arizona started when Alex's phone rang.

"Sorry," he said scarcely, running out again. Jo shot Arizona a look.

"Don't you dare," she told her. Arizona looked surprised by Jo's sharp exclamation.

"Oh, haven't you guys ever talked about this?" she almost looked guilty. Jo rolled her eyes.

"This is not the time and place," Jo told her off before turning towards Sofia. "Wanna go play hide and seek?"

"Yeeeessss," the little one beamed. "But I go peepee fihst," she announced. Jo raised her eyebrows and nodded, helping her down.

"Aren't you gonna get ready? We should be going soon," Arizona told her., looking the younger one up and down, still wearing her pajamas. Jo sighed.

"I'm not coming. You can leave Sofia here with me if you'd like," she offered, walking out towards the stairways, following Sofia.

"What, why? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you're fine, you go, don't worry, we'll be okay. Just go," she waved her off. Arizona seemed to wanna add something to that but decided it wasn't her place.

"You guys about ready?" Alex's voice called from the front door.

"Coming," Arizona called, walking up towards Sofia swiftly, saying her goodbyes and getting her purse before rushing out behind Alex. Jo closed the door behind them and walked up towards the second floor, looking after Sofia, sipping at her coffee. She startled heavily and spilled her coffee all over her front, yelping with the hot liquid burning her skin, when she felt Alex's arm coming out of nowhere, slinging around her waist and pulling her down against his chest, turning her and staring her down in complete and utter confusion. Due to that look, even though Jo had wanted to bark something rude at him, she stayed mute.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Alex looked something in between confused, hurt and offended. Jo smiled sadly and put her hand on his neck.

"It's not my place to go to his funeral," Jo told him in a whisper. "It's okay. I'll stay here with Sofia and I'll drive her over to Mer's house later. I'll see you there, okay? I'll be there," she repeated, her heart heavy.

"I don't understand," Alex replied. "Of course you're coming," he told her. Jo tilted her head.

"Alex, I didn't even know him that well. It'd feel weird to go there with all you guys and his family and all the people who actually knew him, who have every right to mourn him in privacy. I'll be there later, okay?"

"No," Alex shook his head vehemently, grasping her waist a bit tighter. "You're coming. I want you there," he said. This broke Jo's heart, making her cup his cheek. It took Alex a lot to say stuff out loud, she knew that, especially things that concerned him requesting her support. "I'm serious, Jo, don't patronize me," he actually swatted her hand from his face lightly. "And you did know him. Trust me, this is a large hospital, and there's freaking hundreds of people that have been working at this hospital way before you, having had the chance to know him for years, and they didn't. You knew him. Maybe you didn't know him well, but you knew him," he said. Jo bit her lip.

"I already told Arizona I'd look after Sofia," she sighed half-heartedly. Alex tilted his head now, smiling.

"Go get yourself ready, I'll take care of little miss," he told her, stretching out his arm besides her and looking at Sofia who was tiptoeing her way down the stairs, holding onto the wall for support. "Come on, sweetie," he lent her a hand. "Let's get you in the car," he said, bending down and swinging her onto his hip with momentum, making her laugh. When he looked back at Jo's insecure face, he gave her serious but sincere eyes. "I want you there."


	3. Gone

[After funeral]

Jo rustled in her sleep, having woken to something she couldn't quite define, cracking her neck and arching her back a little, yawning when she was awake enough to care to do so. She squinted her eyes at the dim light coming from the lamp on the nightstand, questioning why it was on. She couldn't remember leaving it on, she'd come home completely exhausted after a forever lasting surgery, dropping into bed at 9 pm at the latest. That moment she felt Alex move against her, realizing he had an arm draped across her waist. Jo smiled to herself before rolling over slowly, making him look up from his phone.

"Hey sleepyhead," he smiled at her groggy appearance.

"You're home," she just said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, her voice in a low whisper, making him crack a smile at her, pulling her closer so she could wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. It was soft at first, both of them smiling slightly, but the closeness between them made them deepen the sentiment and both felt their immediate arousal at each other's touch, Jo pressing her palms against the back of Alex's head, so he'd be closer to her, pushing their lips together harder, luring his open and getting to his tongue, playing with it. Alex was instantly caught by the burning fire and lazily rolled over on top of her, his thigh between her legs and her hands roaming his back, their lips still working madly on each other. "Hhh," Jo sighed mindlessly, feeling her eyes roll back within their orbits, Alex's hands and muscles on her doing wonders. They had just broken the kiss for the first time, him kissing her cheek and her following him with her eyes, smiling at each other, when Alex's phone started buzzing. He groaned but followed his kisses through to Jo's collarbone, making her swivel. When Jo reached for the nightstand, Alex determinedly snatched her arm back and intertwined their fingers back on the mattress.

"Don't," he whispered and Jo could hear the lust lacing his rasps between the sloppy kisses to her cleavage. Jo sighed, holding his head towards her body, clenching her thighs around his waist. The buzzing wouldn't stop.

"Alex," she sighed again, trying to get him to either pick it up or silence it. "Come on." Alex looked up at her before slowly climbing her up and staring her down, running his thumb across her cheek.

"I want you right now," he whispered. "Just you," he added. Jo smiled, feeling herself go giddy with the look he gave her and the message of his statement, trying to focus though all the same.

"What if it's Meredith? She needs you right now." Alex scrunched up his face and shook his head.

"Can we not talk about Mer while doing this?" he asked her with incredulity written all over his face. Jo laughed, smoothing her hands down his neck and pulling him down to kiss her, deeply. When the phone had stopped ringing, Jo relaxed against him again. She brought up her hand and squeezed it underneath Alex's waistband of his joggers and boxers and explored his defined ass, sighing in content while he kissed and sucked at her neck wildly. Alex had just gotten to Jo's boobs, cupping one and running his thumb across her nipple when the phone buzzed again. Alex only reacted to Jo's outburst, falling slack against the bed, letting loose of Alex's butt and whining silently. Alex retrieved his hands from her shirt, propping himself up on his elbows to either side of her head and put his forehead against hers. "Just ignore it," he breathed out.

"I can't," she admitted. "I feel bad. I just… she needs you right now," Jo told him, making him narrow his eyes and shake his head before unclimbing her, adding roughly.

"And you don't?" Jo just rolled her eyes and looked after him, watching and hearing him groan when seeing who was actually calling him.

"What? Who is it?" Jo whispered towards him while he made to pick up the call.

"What?" he asked into it. It didn't sound rude but it didn't sound friendly either, maybe just a polite reminder that it was 10.30 p.m. and he was busy doing stuff. Alex's eyes went wide while listening to the caller and Jo sat up in reaction to it, fixing her shirt, moving over towards him and putting her hand on his thigh. "Yeah, I'll be right over," Alex ended the call and bustled about, getting up.

"What's going on, Alex?" Jo was frowning, left behind on the bed, not having caught the drift. "Who was it?"

"Pierce," he told her, already getting on his jeans that were lying at the end of the bed. "Mer's gone," he added, getting off his shirt. Jo watched him at it, shaking her head.

"What do you mean, she's gone?" He just shrugged.

"Apparently she left a note saying the kids and her are fine," Alex recounted for her, getting on his shoes, "loads of stuff is gone, like clothes and stuff," he said, running into the bathroom.

"How does Pierce know? I mean, why would she go over there at that time of night?" Alex came out of the bathroom, rolling his eyes.

"Amelia called," he told her, making her shut up. Jo got up when Alex opened the door and ran down the hallway, following him downstairs.

"I'll stay, okay? Maybe she'll come by here, right? You're her best friend, maybe she just wanted to come see you, or maybe stay here for a while?" Jo told him quietly, trying to think of something productive to do or say. Alex snatched the keys from the counter and smiled at her slightly.

"Thanks," he chucked out.

"I'll call you," Jo confirmed, making him nod absent-mindedly though.

"Sorry," he whispered towards her once he made out her insecure posture. Jo just shook her head. Alex pecked her lips quickly in passing, leaving her stand behind the glass door, hugging herself and freezing in her spaghetti top and hot pants. She got herself something to wear, snatching a big sweater from Alex's wardrobe and some warm socks before switching on the porch light, the hallway lights and the living room lights, just to make sure Meredith knew they were up and she was welcome to crash here anytime. Times had changed for sure. She walked around a while, but soon settled on the couch, tiredly. _She couldn't have gone far, right? And she was an adult. She knew what she was doing, right. She had kids to think of. And her job. Most probably she'd be back by next morning._ With that thought, Jo fell asleep to a completely illuminated house, lounging over the armrest uncomfortably, her phone in her hand. She startled up a couple of hours later when she heard a rustle and somebody talking. Meredith. Jo immediately started rambling, not even having sat up or opened her eyes fully.

"Oh, thank God you're here, we were worried, come on in, I'll get you the gues-," she started mindlessly, her eyes fighting the light, rising from her lying state. Then she felt Alex kiss her temple and chuckle against it, pulling her up. She narrowly opened her eyes, trying to get past the bright light for good to look at him in confusion. "What's going on? Where's Meredith?" Alex smiled at her lovingly before chuckling sadly.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," he tugged at her hand.

"No, she needs to know she can stay over. I look after Sofia sometime, we can handle two more," Jo fought. Alex looked at her sadly.

"She knows that, trust me," he told her compassionately. "We're doing all we can, baby, I know you do too, come on now, let's go to bed," he guided her upstairs and into their bed, crawling in there right after once he had gotten rid of all his clothing and washed up, hugging her to him.

"Did you find her?"

"No," he just gave her. Jo opened her eyes in surprise.

"Did you talk to her?"

"No."

"Do you know where she is?"

"No."

"Alex! What are you doing now?"

"Letting her go," Alex whispered, making her look up at him with horrified eyes. They held the gaze for a while before Jo shook her head and pulled herself up, kissing his lips softly.

"I'm so sorry, Alex," she whispered, her voice heavy with sadness. "I know how much she means to you," she ran her hands through his hair calmingly, her forehead against his, her breathing synced with his, his arms holding her tightly around her waist, deciding to not ever let go again. _She had no idea how much this meant to him._


	4. Memorial Day

[Memorial Day]

Alex took a double gulp from his beer, trying to drown out the silence in between Jackson and him. It wasn't like they weren't talking, but every time one of them muted for only a second, the silence confined them to their own state of mind, sitting opposite each other within the noisy surroundings of Joe's, having a booth to themselves. When he lowered his beer, he sighed, feeling severely uncomfortable, making Jackson look up.

"I heard Arizona made a scene today," he spoke up, pointing his whiskey at Alex who just nodded with heavy eyes. "Seems like everybody's running on dynamite lately, doesn't it," Jackson added quietly. Alex studied the other doctor's face, trying to make out what he was saying.

"I guess she just couldn't help herself," he shrugged. "People keep talking… and she just… she gets super irritated with them, cause everybody is _mourning_ ," Alex marked the word with invisible quotes and a decline of his intonation, " _the_ infamous Dr. Derek Shepherd and nobody even knew him. Barely anyone noticed Mer missing from the surgical board either," he added. Jackson shrugged, sipping at his whiskey.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I thought it was bad enough that Shepherd's gone now. But it seems everybody's just gone. Mer's gone, Yang's gone, April's gone, Hunt's gone… I'll be curious who'll be next," he mused. "I guess with the rate this hospital is going… we'll lose our residents right after their boards as well," he paused. "I'd keep an eye out for your girlfriend if I were you," he nodded over towards the entrance, Alex following his gaze, seeing Jo and Stephanie walk in, deep in conversation. When he smiled over slightly though, Jo gave him a wave and a smile, pointing at the bar, making him nod.

"Well, there are great Peds departments in this country apart from this exact one, you know," Alex told him unfazed. Jackson hiked his eyebrows.

"Oh, great, so you're thinking of leaving too? Soon it'll be all me and myself and my lonely little board my mother gave to me," he stared down into his liquor. Alex snorted when Jo came walking over, her head turned towards Steph who was walking a step behind her, waving her hands for him to scoot over.

"Drowning in self-pity much?" Alex teased him. Jo sat down next to him, scooting around to get comfortable and leaned onto the arm he had stretched out across the backrest. Stephanie seemed to awkwardly sit down besides Jackson, making Alex frown. "What's gotten into you?" he nodded at her, interrupting both their conversations. Steph took a look over at Jackson who had raised his eyebrows as well.

"I just…," Steph started insecurely. "This feels like… it should be April sitting here instead of me," she mumbled into her drink before taking a large sip. Jo grunted in amusement, waving her away.

"Oh, no worries, we don't double date," she defused the tension, turning over towards Alex and leaning in to kiss him hello. "Hey," she whispered, pecking his lips again, smiling up at his glowing beady eyes, pecking him once more before facing their company again, making him kiss her cheek.

"Ugh, that smell," Alex complained, rumpling his nose.

"Oh, are you still on burn unit?" Steph asked in surprise, making Jo nod and bend down to sniff her shirt, scrunching up her face.

"I don't smell anything," she turned over towards Alex who tilted his head. "Oh you mean the eucalyptus," she realized, wiping her nose and lip. "I always forget about that," she added.

"Why are you _still_ on Plastics for God's sakes? We're in our 4th year, you shouldn't get stuck on cases like that," Steph reprimanded her. Jo rolled her eyes when Jackson intervened.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Stephanie turned towards him with a bored face.

"Exactly the thing you heard in there. She's too good to get stuck on Plastics," she sassed back. Jackson looked at her incomprehensibly.

"So, Plastics is for… doctors who don't make it in any other specialty?" he countered questioningly, making her roll her eyes now.

"You're being childish. I'm just saying, Jo doesn't wanna be in Plastics, do you?" she turned back towards Jo who was watching their match amusedly.

"Well, not exactly," Jo faced Jackson with a guilty face, making Alex snort and her tap his thigh to be quiet. "But I really took to Anne and JJ and I'd hate to not be there for them anymore," she admitted.

"So, you're trading hardcore educational ungraspable medicine, surgeries, for what? Scraping skin off some woman?" Steph gave her back.

"This _woman_ has 60% of her surface area burnt, just so you know, there's too much we have to repair surgically, Wilson won't come short, I promise," Jackson shot back at her angrily, making Steph tilt her head back, looking nervous almost.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… um… hit a nerve or something… I was just joking around," Steph explained. Jo leaned against Alex a little more, making him nuzzle her temple and she could see out of the far corner of her eye how he was rolling his eyes at the squabble in front of them.

" _Well,_ maybe I _should_ be traded for another resident on this case, JJ complained about me being too pretty today. They want someone ugly peeling them," she threw in there, making them all look at her, surprised. "They called me snow white," Jo shook her head mockingly, trying to make fun of herself and lighten the mood, distract from their spat.

"That's cause you are," Alex shook his head at her slowly, whispering it into her ear. Jo snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, and," at this Jo turned over towards Jackson, becoming a bit more serious, "Anne's husband stormed out today in the middle of a go," she informed him. "He didn't come back until I left, she was devastated," she reported, making her superior nod slowly. "I don't understand that guy. How can he just leave her like that? She's going through hell and he's just… ugh," Jo ranted.

"You know, just because not every person on this planet shows their scars outright to their surface or complains about it naggingly but pulls themselves back, doesn't mean it's not hard to go through stuff like that. This concerns him just as well. He's probably just scared," Jackson blew up all of a sudden, making them all yank their heads back and sit as if petrified. When he was done and stared back at them, surprised about his outburst as well, he took two long gulps of his liquor, downing it steadily. When nobody said a word after that either, he got up and walked over to the bar, ordering a new one. Jo caught Steph's eyes quickly before facing Alex, pulling down both corners of her mouth, showing him how she hadn't expected that.

"People do tend to blow up around here lately," she mused quietly.

"Well, it's been a rough few weeks. Months. Whatever," Alex commented slowly. They both nodded quietly. "Arizona blew up on some attending in the cafeteria today cause that one was complaining about a shortage of neurosurgeons around here lately," Alex rolled his eyes, sighing.

"She did?" Jo looked back at him sympathetically, making him nod and rub his eyes.

"Wouldn't have thought, seeing that Shepherd spends every last minute of every day in this freaking hospital," Steph pointed out. "Seriously, I haven't seen her go home or come to work in weeks. I don't think she sleeps or eats anymore. She's like… always there and constantly bringing in new cases," she shook her head. "But I tell you, she's losing it too. She keeps going on about how her brother would have done things differently and what a shame it is that he's dead… acting all… I don't know… today I was actually scared about her starting to joke around about him, I swear," Steph closed her eyes too, sighing and leaning back against the bench.

"Yeah, everything's just… so weird. I wish we could go back to some normalcy around here. I don't mean to disrespect Shepherd or any other surgeon you know, having worked here and… not being here anymore," Jo muttered sheepishly when realizing what she was saying. "I just meant… everybody's so on edge and I just wish we could all just do something," she ended her statement at least somehow constructively. Alex squeezed her waist, trying to tell her he appreciated her words.

"Well, you know what would help," Jackson came back to their table, throwing himself next to Stephanie. "People who haven't died deciding not to just up and leave their freaking lives behind acting as if there wasn't anything to it anyways, either," he chucked out aggressively. They all sighed.

"Have you been talking to April lately?" Alex asked him flat out, sick of Jackson's drunk comments.

"Yeah, whatever," Jackson pouted.

"I'm sure she's fine where she is," Jo tried comforting him.

"Well, you know what? I'm not," he barked back at her.

"Hey, don't get mad at us," Alex snapped back. "We're all trying to cope with something, alright? Let's just try to be civil about it…," he said.

"Wow, I would have never picked you to say something like this," Steph laughed. Alex rolled his eyes while Jo snickered along. Jackson was still looking down at his drink. Steph sighed before nudging her ex-boyfriend's shoulder with hers, making him look over at her. "I'm sure she's fine, too. She'll be back before you know it," she soothed him. "I can understand that you feel awful. But you can't do anything about her having left right now anyways. Maybe you can try to get along with your own stuff while she's gone, and then you can work out your crap together when she'll be back, right?" she told him genuinely. Jackson closed his eyes, smiling a sad but also sheepish smile.

"How is it that you seem to always end up in this spot of having to either bear bad news or comfort us?" Steph laughed.

"Well, I guess that's karma for me sleeping with my boss during my internship," she grinned with a blush. Jo widened her eyes.

"Oh God, so what's mine, then?" Steph laughed.

"Well, you've had Meredith Grey in your bed all through last year," Steph told her matter-of-factly. "That's bad karma." They all chuckled mildly, their remaining sad smiles on their faces the last note of a conversation spent at a bar, next to a hospital, that not too long ago had buzzed with their daily, cheery, undiluted lives that had now all gone awry it seemed with one tragedy strike after the other and them trying to get over it together. _Well, at least the ones who still remained at the hospital. The ones that still appreciated their togetherness. They were all lonely sometimes or grief-stricken or desperate, but they still had each other to lean on._ Jo bit her lip and entwined her fingers with Alex's that were resting on her waist, tilting her face over towards him slightly to lean against him.

"Don't tell me you're already missing her?" he whispered into her ear, making her smile even sadder but chuckled voicelessly all the same.

"How can you even say that?" she murmured back, searching his eyes. Alex shrugged, losing all joy on his facial features.

"I just don't know what else to do anymore."


	5. 4th of July

[July 4th]

Jo walked up the stone steps leading to their house, annoyed by pretty much everything. She still only carried two hands but she was trying to heave her laptop case and her purse and groceries and the left over pie they had shoved onto her at the hospital, she'd dropped by the store for the beer Alex had sent her for, the keys that had just jumbled to the ground, and generally, she was exhausted from standing in the OR all day with Jackson, her back was killing her, her feet were numb and her neck hurt like hell. People kept running out on the street and half of Seattle was blocked for the celebrations, so that hadn't eased her mood either, even though their house wasn't even such a long drive from the hospital. And now the fireworks had started and every person went black out crazy, standing in the streets and just gazing about like complete morons. Not to mention the volume of that freaking spectacle going on around her. She had just made it up the stairs when she recognized Maggie's voice trailing over towards her.

"Hey, you're missing all the fun," she called out to her. Jo just rolled her eyes silently and sighed.

"Yeah, well," she pretty much ignored them, walking over swiftly and putting the ice cold six pack into Alex's lap and turning back again, vanishing inside, wanting this day to end so badly. She let go of all bags, spreading them on the kitchen table, leaning against the chair for a second and closing her eyes before going over to the fridge, getting out a bottle of water and drinking up half of it, placing herself in front of the kitchen window, watching the fireworks. It wasn't a minute later that she heard Alex's voice behind her.

"Won't you come out and sit with us?" he asked her quietly. Jo flitted her eyes across her shoulder for a moment, making out his general posture in the dark, leaning against the doorframe, his hands in his pockets.

"Nah, I'm horrible company tonight," she gave him back, going back to watching the fireworks. She heard him rustle and come closer, sighing and closing her eyes for a second, wishing he wouldn't ask. She sensed as he came into her vicinity, not trying to catch his eyes and groaned when he stepped up behind her, hugging her to him. She leaned against him with some resistance, staying silent.

"Oh, yeah? Our conversations haven't drifted much from the usual," he informed her, whispering very close to her ear before kissing her temple, "so I bet you'd mix us up a bit," he told her. Jo knew he was trying to make her feel better but this really didn't help.

"I can't take another night of brooding over Meredith Grey's disappearance," she shook her head. There was a moment of pause in which she suddenly felt the stinging in her guts and sighed, she hadn't meant to sound so rude. "I didn't mean it like that," she tilted her head over only an inch to feel his nose graze against her cheek. "I'm sorry," she shook her head lightly.

"I know," Alex reassured her. "I wasn't trying to get you to come discuss Mer with us, either," he chuckled softly, pecking her cheek again. "I just thought we could spend some time together now we're both off at the same time for once," he explained his motives. Jo smiled.

"I'd really rather stay in here. I don't have the nerves to put up with Pierce tonight, as likeable as she is, she just doesn't know when to stop talking. I just had a real crap day and I just wanna get my stuff done and go to bed," she replied.

"Okay," Alex whispered, snuggling his head into her neck, resting against her for a bit. Jo kept watching the fireworks, enjoying the silence in between them. "Is there anything I can do?" Jo shook her head no. Alex pondered about how to make her feel better. He didn't wanna sit out on the porch with Maggie knowing she was in here having a crappy night. He just wanted her to feel better, wanted to know what was up. They'd all been affected by Mer leaving, he was angry and disappointed and sad and lost and confused himself, and he wished nothing more than for her to just pick up her damned phone for once, however, Jo had been affected just as much. She of course realized how much time he had spent calling people, looking up numbers, talking to Maggie and Callie and Cristina about the matter endlessly. She knew that a lot of times when they were spending some minutes alone, he still kept musing what steps to take next. Alex had marveled at how supportive Jo had been, but then again, it'd been about four months now. She was of course growing tired of it. And then she was right, too, she was having crappy days too, and to be quite honest, Alex had also realized that Jo didn't seem to talk to him as much anymore about what was going on with _her_. Of course they talked and they spent time together and they did everything as they used to, he just felt like she was distancing herself a tiny bit. Maybe he needed to cut back on the whole Mer thing too. Wasn't going anywhere, anyways. "Care to share?" He heard her sigh with a grumble.

"Not really. Just a crappy day, nothing much to tell," she gave him back dismissively.

"I'm sorry," he told her quietly.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked him back.

"Your crappy day. You feeling like you can't share your days with me anymore," he whispered, feeling stupid. Jo let out a long breath before loosening his arms around her and turning in his embrace, looking up at him.

"How do you figure?"

"Well, you haven't much lately," he responded.

"You've had other stuff on your mind," Jo just said, looking down. Alex pulled up her chin in an instant and shook his head at her.

"Doesn't mean I'm cutting back on our relationship," he said. "I don't want you to think that I don't care," he told her urgently. Jo smiled.

"I know that, Alex," she breathed out. "It has nothing to do with you either, I just wasn't feeling all companionable lately, that's all," she added.

"You tell me when it gets too much, right? Too many people over… too much talk about the same thing over and over and over again?" Jo smiled genuinely now.

"It's okay, Alex. She's your friend. You worry. I get that. Don't you worry about me, I'm always gonna demand my special share of Alex time," she wriggled her eyebrows. Alex chuckled.

"Good," he said. "Speaking of which, I missed out on my fair share of Jo time this week," he pointed out, cocking a questioning eyebrow at her. She smiled and looked down, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Yeah, I've been so busy at work, I'm sorry," she told him. "I'll make up for it… soon…ish," she added sheepishly and blushed slightly.

"What are you working on? Besides JJ and Anne I mean," he asked her interestedly. Jo groaned again.

"Ever since that one time at Joe's when Steph was going on about Plastics isn't a real thing, you know," she tried reminding him. Alex nodded. "He just keeps coming with those hardcore cases. Like the other day… we had a penile reconstruction on a three year old," she told him. Alex narrowed his eyes.

"Why don't I know anything about that?"

"I guess you were busy too," Jo blinked her eyes at him playfully.

"It's my department though, I should have seen a procedure like that through," he mused.

"Yeah, it was weird. That fifth year resident that's specializing in Peds… what's her name?"

"Oakley," Alex answered dutifully.

"She was overseeing. Said she had been supervising this case under Robbins since the very beginning," she reported back. Alex sighed, rubbing his face.

"So much going wrong at that place, I tell you… you'd think a fifth year resident would give me the heads up about that," he told her. "Who was the attending?"

"Sleepy," Jo grinned back, knowing full well Alex had no fiber of liking towards the fellow pediatric surgeon. As anticipated, he groaned in irritation. "Anyways, I learned a lot, I did. But it was so exhausting, it took forever, and then I don't even wanna go into Plastics, ugh," she let go of a short rant. Alex nodded off her statements.

"It's time to mention that towards Avery at one point," he advised her.

"That's the thing, he knows I don't wanna do Plastics. But he keeps rambling on about how haven't seen half of it and how he hadn't known about his passion for Plastics for years. I was thinking of asking Webber to just put me on the next rotation… I'm scared they all think I actually support this…," she trailed off.

"You make sure they know, alright? Don't let him guilt-trip you onto his service," Alex gave her some back up. Jo nodded, pulling him closer towards her, still fiddling with his shirt.

"Don't you have company somewhere out there?"

"She's really wooed by the fireworks," Alex smirked. "That gives us some more time," he winked and leaned in to kiss her lips softly. Jo looked back up at him and smiled, liking his idea. When she trailed her hands up his chest and around his neck, they deepened the kiss, their touches and movements staying gentle, though, quiet. Alex pressed Jo against the counter while she lazily smoothed her palms across his muscles, his tongue putting her in a trance.

"You're missing the good stuff," Maggie's voice pierced the comfortable silence of the kitchen and the spell they were both under, them breaking their kiss unwillingly and turning towards her, her having stopped mid-kitchen. "Sorry," she stood there awkwardly, fidgeting. "I-," she threw her thumb over her shoulder, wanting to explain something, making them both raise their eyebrows.

"You-?" Alex asked her with an irritated shake of his head, Jo sensed.

"I, um… it's not that important… I was just thinking how we could reach Mer differently and-," she stuttered. Jo detached from Alex, squeezing his hand gently when untying and walked over towards the mess she had let go of when coming into the room.

"Maybe, if I may say so," Jo started slowly and quietly, "it's time for you guys to give it some rest," she suggested. "It's been so long. Maybe she just doesn't wanna talk to you guys right now, maybe she needs some more time," she said, busying herself with putting stuff in the fridge. "I mean, I doubt she's changed her number and she sure hasn't lost eyesight or memory, so she'll know exactly that you've been trying to call her ever since she left. She'll call you back once she's comfortable enough to do so," Jo looked back at them. Alex shrugged, his eyes directed towards the floor, Maggie stared at her unbelievingly.

"Well, I don't think that's a good idea at all," she gave her back, seeming a bit short with words. Jo sighed again, for the hundredth time that night she thought.

"Yeah, I thought so," she gave them, making Maggie look at her in surprise and Alex look up. "That's partly why I touched base with Dr. Copeland at Boston Memorial. He is prehistoric, let me tell you. He was my chief back at Harvard med. He knows pretty much all top surgical programs in the country. He says he's willing to help you find Mer. I played the dead Shepherd card, though, just so you know," she told them completely unfazed about the disbelief she was meeting in their eyes. Here's his number, she put a business card on the island in between the other two, who stared at it speechlessly. "He's expecting your call," Jo told them, gathering the stuff she needed upstairs and faced Alex again and smiled in fatigue. "I'll be upstairs, trying to forget about this day."

"Wait," Maggie held out her hand for her, even though she was way too far to even be able to touch her. "I know this guy, I worked for him on a couple of occasions," she spat out. Jo nodded, too tired to act as if she were interested. "I-well, I...," she stumbled on her words again. "Thank you," she realized all of a sudden. Jo smiled, rolling her eyes only a little bit.

"You're welcome. Just know he might only be another dead end."

"Jo," called one turned back, gazing back into the dark corridor she had just walked out to. She felt Alex grasp her hand and smiled when he crashed down onto her lips, making her cup his cheek gently. "You have no idea," he said, shaking his head, kissing her again. Jo smiled.

"I do, baby, I do."


	6. Thanksgiving

[Thanksgiving]

"Happy Thanksgiving everyone," Arizona opened up the door and breezed in, crumpling her face, watching the scene unfold. "What are you guys doing?" Both Wilson and Pierce shushed her, their eyes fixed on the TV, imitating surgical moves from what looked like… 30 years ago. "What is this?" she whispered towards Alex who rolled his eyes and turned towards her.

"Turkey's still not done," he pointed out, making her raise her eyebrows. "So, we got burgers and then Jo and Maggie vanished in the attic and came back with these," he pointed at boxes of videos. Arizona bent over and read the inscriptions.

"Ellis Grey's surgeries? Oh wow," she commented appreciatively. "Why now?"

"I don't know… I guess it's a generation thing. I remember my class watching them all on a bunch of nights during intern year…," he trailed off, seemingly thinking about old times. Or maybe the fact that all his friends had still been here, in this very room, on that very night, watching the very same thing. He caught himself and continued. "Maggie just wants to stalk her birth mom," he nodded over towards his colleague who was sitting on the other end of the couch, her back completely straight, mouthing stuff to herself and trying to construct something quite imaginary with her fingers. "Jo's just nerdy like that _and_ she's a year ahead with starting to cram for her boards," he said about his girlfriend who was sitting some three feet in front of him, kneeling before him, doing the exact same thing Maggie was doing, her eyes fixed on the surgeons hand on the TV.

"Hey, I can hear you, you know," Jo snarked back towards him, Alex just chuckling in return.

"So, is the turkey about ready? I'm starving," Arizona chimed into the room, making Jo sigh and break off her study session, getting up with a groan.

"I don't know," she whined, Arizona following her to the kitchen. "I've been pouring and pouring stock onto it but I think by now it's gone dry. I'm not sure you should eat it," she walked into the kitchen, followed by the attending, ogling through the window of the oven.

"Well, it looks good, let's take it out and just taste it," Arizona suggested. Jo shrugged and helped putting the roaster onto the stove. Arizona tried cutting a little bit from the side and looked at it. "Well, maybe a little dry, but I think it's fine," she said. "We can always use it for turkey salad or turkey sandwiches," she winked at her. Jo chuckled.

"All that effort for nothing," she rolled her eyes. "But the pie is real good," she announced, cutting herself a piece and putting it on a dessert plate, getting out a fork. "You should have some," she voiced through her first bite, chewing on the pastry, reeling in the sweet rush of sugar, walking over towards the living room again. When she steered towards sitting down on the floor again, Alex held out his arm, motioning he wanted her sitting with him. Jo gave him a mockingly stern face. "You want the cake or you feel bad for saying I'm a nerd?" Alex laughed, waving her to him again. Jo sluggishly walked over, her eyes fixed towards the screen again. "Oh my God, what did I miss?"

"She just clipped off the portal vein between liver and spleen and took the spleen out. Now she's gonna figure out what to do with the portal vein," Maggie gave her a rushed recap, while Jo kneeled down on her left leg, sitting down on it and pulling her right one up with her, leaning into Alex who had stretched out his arm, observing her. Jo glanced at him quickly before looking back at Maggie. "Gosh, this is so exciting," she cheered, making them both snort. Jo closed her eyes for a moment when Alex leaned in and kissed her temple lovingly, rubbing himself against her. Jo smiled, going back to watching the surgery, making her vulnerable to him snatching off pieces of pie. Arizona came to join them, taking a seat on the recliner, seemingly actually having some turkey. When Jo was done, she put the dish on the floor and untangled her legs, putting them across Alex's lap, cuddling into him fully now, resting her head in the crook of his neck, sighing in content.

"Can you believe this was Meredith's mother?" Arizona marveled once the video was over and they turned towards each other, Jo long having fallen asleep in Alex's arms. Maggie and Alex both raised their eyebrows, amused almost.

"Can you believe this was my mother?" Maggie gave her back, making her look uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"I actually did not think about that," she admitted. "Sorry."

"No, it's fine, it's actually pretty awesome. I mean, I had the perfect family growing up, but then I had this birth mother who was this kick-ass surgeon, like _the_ surgeon of her time. It's amazing," she rambled on, making Arizona nod. Jo rustled in her sleep, nestling closer to Alex, making him look down and kiss her head, Maggie looking over too. "She said she didn't have a mother today," Maggie nodded over towards Jo, questioning Alex. "What's up with that? Was she given up for adoption too?" Alex inhaled deeply, observing Jo's peaceful face.

"Something like that," he just said, making sure they weren't gonna ask for more, since he didn't feel comfortable sharing that kind of stuff about Jo without her knowing it. Arizona said her goodbyes not long after that, walking upstairs towards her room, making Maggie fidget for a while as well, conflicted between staying and watching another one and leaving because it was late and she didn't wanna bother Alex and Jo's togetherness. When Alex was left all alone in the dark, Jo curled up on his side fast asleep, he switched on the TV, switching programs until he'd found an old Christmas Western that he knew and could let play while his thoughts were going wild. They had plagued him all day, knotting in his brain, but with all the chattering and surgery watching and whatnot, his thoughts had soon driven away. But now it was silent, Jo's breathing was rhythmic and soothing, and all he could do was analyze that call he'd shared with Meredith this afternoon. _What the hell did she mean with saying they were fine, please don't call anymore? Didn't she realize how worried they all were? How they wanted her to come back, figure it out with their help?_ Jo moved around slightly, seeming unsatisfied with her position before letting go a wide yawn and rubbing her face into his side.

"What time is it?" she croaked out, seeming dazed.

"Around midnight," he told her, looking at her smooth face that was wrinkled with the angry lines next to her eyes, illustrating that the lights were hurting her eyes.

"Has everybody gone home?"

"It's just us," Alex nodded. Jo smiled at this, cuddling closer, pulling him down towards her and kissing him harder than they'd both thought, her just having woken up. When Jo didn't let go of his face, Alex sighed and tilted his body over towards her only a little, deepening the kiss. Jo moaned into his mouth in pleasure, making an attempt to push herself up and straddle him, which was lost in the wind with her not having enough momentum, making Alex grab for her thigh and butt and pull her over against him. It wasn't long before the fire was fueled so gloriously, they both were out of breaths and ready to rip each other's clothes off. So, Jo felt very put off when Alex broke the kiss and fiddled with Jo's fingers, looking somewhere closer to her boobs than face, not actively though. Jo tried guiding his chin up to look at her but he showed some resistance.

"What is it?" Jo asked him, half worriedly, half annoyed.

"I know I haven't been the boyfriend of the year," Alex started, making her frown.

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?" she chucked out, confused. Alex shrugged. Jo started another attempt to guide his chin up, making him look at her. Jo tilted her head and gave him her most innocent eyes. He chuckled. Then her features grew soft, but serious. "Alex, what's going on? Why are you saying that?"

"I don't know… I just… _thanks_ I guess for… sticking with me… through everything… even though I might not always be there for you lately… or I'm preoccupied or something," he stuttered. Jo smiled.

"Well, Alex," she told him. "But that's just you, I've known that from the very beginning," she teased him, making his eyes wide. "And when will come that time that you realize I _will_ be sticking with you through so much more once the time comes, this is just… this is nothing," Jo told him matter-of-factly. Alex stared at her.

"You're seriously perfect. I don't even know how to give all that perfection back to you," he confessed. Jo smiled, running her fingers across his cheeks.

"And you're so hopelessly in love with me," she mocked him. Alex sighed and nodded, no trace of amusement or mockery. Jo let her head fall to the side. "Oh my," she bent down and pecked his lips softly. "What's gotten into you?" There was a long pause, once Jo realized that there actually _was_ something going on that he hadn't told her yet. She frowned with worry and waited for him to elaborate, climbing down from his lap and cuddling into his side again, so he didn't feel observed.

"I talked to Mer today," he told her.

"What?" Jo sat up straight, her eyes wide, all her alarms going off. "What, when? How? Why didn't you say?" Alex looked over at her and held the gaze, not saying anything for a minute. Then he shook his head.

"I… I didn't feel like it," he said.

"You didn't feel like it? When did you talk to her Alex?"

"Right after I came home with the food," he admitted.

"And you guys talked?"

"Yeah. Well, she talked. I just… I didn't feel like… saying anything," he bowed his head, making Jo's heart heavy. _She had said something that had broken his heart for sure. She knew that look. She knew that look of vulnerable hurt. Of abandonment. Oh baby._ Jo snuggled a little closer, letting him talk now. "She picked up her phone for once, and she told me that she was fine, and the kids were fine… and she told me not to call again," his voice breaking a little. "Then she ended the call." There was a long silence in which they just sat and stared at each other, Jo running her fingers up and down Alex's head and neck.

"I'm sorry," she whispered after a while, feeling there was nothing else to add. "I wish you'd have said something sooner, though," she told him. He closed his eyes.

"Yeah," he gave her, without any meaning behind it.

"It's okay if you wanna keep this private, I know this feels like she's rejecting you… personally. But she's not," Jo shook her head at him, trying to make him see. "And you should tell the others. Maggie's her sister. She's worried to death. She needs to know. And all the others who are pondering about her, they need to know too. You always say Mer isn't acting fair towards you guys? Well, now it's your turn to act fair, alright?" Alex just nodded, which broke her heart. She pulled him closer and they settled into an intimate hug,

"Thanks," she could make out his murmur right into her ear.

"There's no need, Alex," she reassured him, running his fingers down the back of his head, rubbing his back with her palm. "Just don't shut me off this stuff," she said. "I wanna hear about these things," she said.

"You once said you are sick of talking about Meredith Grey's disappearance," he pointed out.

"Oh, Alex, you know I meant talking about it day and night. I didn't mean you couldn't tell me your worries and your thoughts. God, I didn't mean that at all. You know that right?"

"Okay," he responded, his gaze not meeting hers. Jo tilted her head over, leaning it against the backrest, knowing there wasn't anything much she could say at the moment, he just felt so abandoned by his friend. Maybe she could do something though, instead of just talk, to make him feel better. Alex's arm was resting at her waist, playing with her shirt, their legs entangled and their torsos facing each other. Jo sighed, matching eyes with him, knowing sometimes they just needed to… let themselves fall and let the other catch them.

"You wanna go to sleep?" Alex shook his head, matching eyes with hers. She gave him a tiny smile. "Come here," she whispered, cupping his cheek and pulling him down towards her lips, kissing him softly, sensually. This was seriously the most intimate interaction. Jo knew other people might judge her for her behavior towards him, not making him talk about it too much, giving him comfort in another way that many people did not understand. Being with Alex though, was a comfort in itself and she knew it was working vice versa. So when they deepened their sentiment and Alex explored her skin underneath her shirt gently, all she needed to do was switch off her brain and let go, because they would always be taking care of each other without even thinking or talking about it beforehand. They'd always be there for each other. Anywhere, anyway. And anytime.


	7. Christmas

[Christmas]

Jo parked the car in the empty driveway, killing the engine and looked at the neon digits on the stereo. It was after midnight. Jo quickly leaned her head on the back rest and closed her eyes, groaning. She hadn't made it to the Christmas party as she had promised to Alex, she'd known all night that she'd be late but she hadn't anticipated it being that late already. She sighed before unbuckling herself and getting the sorry excuse of an apology from the passenger seat, getting out of the car and locking it. She dragged herself up the stone steps leading to their house when she heard some giggling and watched as two people walked towards her, one supporting the other, chuckling as the latter one seemed too drunk to walk by herself. She smiled politely when Webber recognized her, smiling at her.

"Wilson," he greeted her.

"Seems like the party was a hit," Jo just observed, making Pierce snort and giggle.

"Well, you've missed it," Webber pointed it out. "Are you just coming from the hospital?" Jo nodded. "That's a shame. Oh well, I better get her home," he nodded towards their colleague. "Merry Christmas," he told her in passing. Jo rubbed her forehead and walked up the last couple of steps, quietly entering the house, finding it dark. She looked around, seeing a poorly lit Christmas tree in the corner by the fireplace, smiling sadly, before putting down her purse and meaning to go up.

"I'm here," she heard Alex's voice out of nowhere, startling her slightly, turning back and seeing him sit on the couch all by himself, darkness surrounding him. Jo's guts dropped, feeling bad. She turned round quickly and inched closer towards him, putting the cardboard box on the coffee table and sitting down next to him, facing him.

"Let me explain," she started when seeing his slightly fallen face.

"It's fine, Jo," he waved her off, knowing how deep she was into her job at the moment. "I'm glad you came home at all," he added, disappointment lacing his voice very obviously. Jo tilted her head and felt guilt fill her core.

"Alex, I'm sorry," she shook her head, leaning closer and kissing his shoulder. "I wanted to come but my patient had a big crisis and I just… I wanted to stay for a bit longer and it kinda drew out and I didn't realize until it was dark and the hallways were empty," she elaborated. Alex nodded, looking down at his cup. "How was it?" Jo asked timidly, trying to match eyes with him. "Pierce seemed pretty wasted," she chuckled lightly. Alex snorted without any humor behind it.

"Yeah, she made tons of eggnog and we kind of fed off of that," he told her, raising his cup.

"You don't even like eggnog," Jo guided his hand over towards her nose, and sniffed the drink, yanking her head back and widened her eyes, wordlessly commenting on the huge amount of alcohol coming towards her.

"That's what I said. But hers it good, actually. It's more like a bourbon milkshake," he repeated the words for her. Jo nodded, taking a sip, nodding appreciatively.

"What about the others?"

"Jackson had some kind of crisis with Kepner, he wouldn't elaborate. He stormed into the kitchen after talking to her on the phone, Arizona tried comforting him. He left after a while and Arizona retreated upstairs. And then it was just Webber and Pierce," he recounted. Jo nodded.

"Did you have fun?"

"Sure," Alex sounded clipped. "I just wish you could have been there. We never get to spend much time together anymore," he said.

"I know," Jo shook her head. "But I'm here now. I even brought you an apology," she pointed at the box, smiling sheepishly. Alex frowned.

"What is it?"

"Go ahead and open it," she teased him. "I even went through the bother to put a bow on it," she chuckled. Alex smiled, leaning forward and opened the box, turning his face over towards her with a genuine smirk.

"Banana cream pie?"

"Yep," Jo smiled from her spot, leaning against the backrest. "I meant to bring one anyway, I just thought you'd go crazy over it," she winked at him. Alex chuckled, putting the lid back on and leaned back.

"Thanks," he bent over and pecked her lips quickly. Jo nodded, leaning in, gesturing for him to put his arm around her, Jo snuggling up to him. They rested in silence for a while, both trapped within their own thoughts.

"Can I ask you something?" Jo was the one who broke the silence first, not looking at him, staring ahead at the tree. Alex nodded silently. "Do you ever… do you think with being in a relationship with someone…," she started, not quite finding the right words. "Do you have a concrete image of what that relationship should look like? As in… is there things you wouldn't be comfortable dealing with or you know… I don't know…," she rambled on, eventually looking up at Alex's confused face.

"Where's this coming from?" he asked her. Jo shook her head.

"I… I'm not sure… I just… I guess I've been thinking lots about it… with my patients lately… you know Anne's husband has always been… reluctant and kind of awkward when he was with her… ever since the accident," she recounted, making him nod. "And today… well, he _left_ her with the reasoning of… not having signed up for _this_ ," she told him, hearing the bitterness in her own voice. Alex sighed.

"We've talked about this," he told her, making her furrow her brows now.

"We have?"

"Well," he shrugged. "Everybody deals with their own crap differently," he repeated, making her roll her eyes.

"He left her, Alex. As in… they're probably gonna divorce…. Because she's been in an accident and has been burnt and it's been 7 months that she's been staying at the hospital and it's gonna take another while," she told him in a sharp voice.

"Well, he sounds like an ass. But still, it doesn't mean he actually means to be an ass… you know what I mean?" Jo looked at him incredulously.

"So," she shook her head. "If I were in an accident tomorrow, would you ponder about my recovery time when deciding if to stay with me or not?" she asked him sassily.

"Jo," Alex groaned. "You need to stop getting so emotional about your patients. Just because that guy couldn't deal with all that has and will happen, doesn't mean I would walk out on you. I wouldn't by the way, but you're not gonna be in an accident either," he told her.

"You don't know that," she gave him back snippily. Alex rolled his eyes. "And we're not married or anything, so you don't have any obligations, I mean you could just… walk away with no… you know… responsibilities… you could even disappear without a note and you wouldn't need to feel bad, cause we're you know… _dating_ ," Jo blew up the tiniest bit.

"Are you actually complaining that we're not married?" Alex raised his eyebrows at this, seeming amused. Jo groaned, closing her eyes.

"No, no, I'm not… I didn't mean that… I just…I'm-," she tried explaining herself.

"I'm not gonna walk out on you, Jo, or disappear, or leave you behind, or whatever it is that you're scared of," Alex had turned his whole torso towards her, stressing every single word, making Jo look up at him timidly and blush. "But I very clearly remember a conversation we had very similar to this one a short while ago." He winked at her.

"I…," she shook her head.

"You're just too deep into this, I know," Alex smiled, pecking her lips. "Don't, it's not worth it. I love that you care about your patients so much, and I understand, but you can't come dishing out accusations about me doing… whatever asshole stuff just because you're scared," he put her straight. "I mean I admit, I'm probably behaving like an ass loads of times, but that is one thing I wouldn't do." Jo sighed.

"I didn't even mean to say this… I was just rambling. Forget I said anything," she begged him exhaustedly.

"It's fine, Jo," he smiled at her. "It's cute even," he chuckled when Jo slapped his chest and smiled into his shirt. They remained quiet for another while before she broke it again.

"Are you ever… scared? Or… I don't know… unhappy with our relationship?" her eyes searched his in fear. Alex sighed, but smiled.

"All the time," he told her genuinely.

"Unhappy?"

"Scared," he corrected her.

"What about?"

"Well," he shrugged. "It's been a crazy year and I've dragged you into this entire Mer thing… and sometimes I have this feeling you just… you're so tired of it, you've even told me so. I mean… that's something you didn't sign up for," he admitted.

"No, you know I didn't mean it like that. I know you're just worried about her. And hurt. I know that. I'd never criticize that, Alex. I love that you're so invested in this, it's just so sad. And exhausting," she confessed now. Alex nodded.

"Okay," he accepted her answer. "I don't know… I'm just… we've been together for a while now," he started, making her smile and nod. "And… I mean… I don't even know what to say. I just… of course I'm scared to lose you," he stated, making her tilt her head. "You're the best thing having happened to me in years. I don't wanna lose you."

"You won't," Jo shook her head and they matched eyes. "Are you unhappy that we're not married… um... yet?" Jo added that last part hesitantly. Alex smiled at that, looking down.

"Nah, it's fine, I'm happy that we're still together and you haven't figured out yet that there's probably a lot of other guys out there that you could be with and probably be happier with or… I don't know," he stuttered.

"Oh, Alex, you are such an idiot," she smiled and shook her head. "I can't believe you're still so insecure. I promise I will always come back home to you," she reassured him, cupping his face. "I'm not gonna leave you and I'm also not gonna disappear without saying anything," she promised, pecking his lips. He nodded, before they leaned in again and kissed a little longer. They parted, snuggling against each other, looking at the sad, sad Christmas tree, enjoying each other's company. "Don't ever think you can't talk about Meredith with me, okay?" Jo whispered towards him after a moment. "It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be mourning. You lost a friend. Your best friend. It's okay to be devastated about that," Jo told him, hugging him a little closer. "Just know I'm not going anywhere."


	8. New Year's

[New Year's Day]

Jo stood in the dark room, only wearing a pair of knee length joggers, a long sleeved shirt and her fuzzy fur slippers, her hair in a tight bun. She put on the thick rubber gloves and yanked open the door to the oven, spraying some heavy cleaner into it, starting to scrub it furiously. She couldn't see the brownish liquid coming from the burnt spots, she only smelled the chemical that was stinging her nose, that made her face crumple up, but she didn't care. It took about two minutes of heavy scrubbing before her upper arm went limp with exhaustion, and that meant something as a surgeon. She'd been perfecting the complete and utter stillness and precision of her hands the last year, having to do torture shifts over and over and over again. It was hard and tedious work, and additionally, she got to hear how much she was hurting her patients for every second of it, hearing them scream piercingly, beg with her, cuss her, cry, double over and experience more pain with having moved an inch too much. The screams were trapped in her head and she couldn't get rid of them. So this crude and senseless work she was doing right now, was somehow soothing to her. She could scrub the oven all she wanted, he wouldn't scream back at her. She could be as rough, as hard, as uncaring as she wanted, nobody would be hurting because of her. During those torture sessions, even she had started losing hope that she was actually doing them good, helping them heal. It had been too much. And the screams. Piercing her eardrum. Jo felt how the tears kept running down her cheeks, but she didn't care. She didn't even bother enough to wipe them away. Jo let her arms hang for a bit, rest for a bit, before going over to the sink, washing the brush clean, tearing off some paper towel to wipe the oven dry, disgusted by the fat and rust and dirt coming off it, before getting a scraper and working on the hardest parts, the stuff that had accumulated over months in there, burning to charcoal with every next time they switched on the oven to put in a pizza or a turkey or whatever really. Charcoal. Huh. And there were the screams again. Jo sniffed, her nose having gotten runny. She lost one rubber glove, getting herself a paper towel and wiped her face clean, blowing her nose in it, before going back to work, doing another round of spraying and scrubbing wildly. This kinda soothed her soul. That's why she had always loved Ortho. Rough, full of strength and no fear, quick pains, effective healing. When Jo was done with the second round, she leaned her forehead against the cool outer surface of the oven, feeling a new round of tears surge up again. Those screams of pain she had heard all through the year, those weren't the worst though. The way Anne had screamed today, the way that sound had pierced into her eardrum, gripped at her heart, made her choke, those screams of loss were the worst. That pain was the worst kind of pain, losing someone so dear to your heart, someone you need so much that you think you can't live without that person. Jo sniffed again, shaking her head, not being able to stop. She stood there for a while before taking a deep sigh and walking over to the sink, getting of the rubber gloves and scrubbing her hands clean.

"This could definitely come across as borderline creepy, you know," Jo startled heavily when she heard Alex speak up, flitting her eyes at him quickly, seeing him leaning in the doorframe, as he so often did, just watching her. Jo smiled and turned back to the sink, desperately trying to get rid of her tear-streaked face, trying to carry her little meltdown off well. Her thoughts tumbled about wildly, trying to think back if she had heard him come in at one point, trying to find out when he had come in initially and had started watching her.

"You off tonight?" Jo asked him in a fake chipper voice.

"Mhm," Alex hummed back, staying at the door it seemed. _Alright, so he definitely had realized she was crying. One of the best things about Alex. He didn't hover when she needed her space. But he never walked away just as far as he could._

"Maggie coming over?" Jo asked, desperately trying to think of something to say, even though it sounded weird to her.

"I wouldn't know," he gave her back sluggishly.

"How so?"

"Well, she tends to show up unannounced, every time she's had some kind of epiphany. But I think we're good today, I heard her rave on about a date she'd planned with Ethan to Callie today at lunch," he informed her. Jo nodded, drying her hands with the small kitchen towel, trying to dry off her last tears with the sleeve of her shirt, undetected. When she turned back to him, he had walked a little closer, rounding the island to make it to the fridge. "Beer?" Jo nodded gratefully.

"Anything from Meredith?" Alex shook his head, looking up at Jo in surprise. He watched her drop her shoulders the tiniest bit. They stood leaning against the kitchen counter, their shoulders rubbing against each other slightly, sipping at their beers, dwelling in the silent darkness. Alex knew well enough to take Jo's cues at times like these, so when he sensed her shoulder leaning onto him with a little bit more pressure than before, he slowly and gently moved his arm over to put on her back, and when she let her head rest on his shoulder, he side hugged her all the way. It took another few minutes before they had both put away their bottles and Jo had turned her body over a little bit to nestle into him, and Alex hugging her fully, kissing her head, letting her sob into his shirt eventually.

"Shhhshh," Alex shushed her quietly, continuously, rubbing her back lazily, feeling the wetness of her tears smearing on his neck and soaking his collar but he didn't care. He only cared about the trembling mess within his arms and her slowly but surely calming down with his advances of making her relax in his arms. It took another while until he realized that the tears had stopped coming anew, and the streaks started to dry, Jo's breathing syncing with his and her arms that were lying on his chest with her head having stopped shivering. He placed a sober kiss on her head, pushed a composed seeming Jo back towards the next bar stool and gently made her sit, bringing her some paper towel and a cup of water, waiting for her to clean herself up after drink up and refilling it for her. He stood between her thighs, letting her put her arms around his waist again instead of talking, letting her rest her heavy head on his belly.

"I can't do this anymore," Jo whispered into him, having closed her eyes, feeling so exhausted, her head heavy from crying, her eyes burning. She felt him stroke her head, go through her hair.

"You can," he gave her back, making her look up at him slowly, for she hadn't anticipated his reply.

"I can?"

"Yes," he nodded, closing his eyes for a split moment. "You can, you of all people can," he told her, before bending down and kissing her forehead. "You're so strong." He kept shaking his head.

"It's so hard, though," she felt her chin tremble again, but she knew she was out of tears for the night.

"I know, baby," he murmured without much voice behind it. At this, Jo got up from her spot and stood as close as possible in front of Alex, still being able to look him in the eye.

"She's all alone now," Jo sighed when Alex rested his forehead on hers.

"She's never alone. Nobody's ever alone. And if she doubts this only for a second, then I'll come and make her see that she at least has you, who's giving her heart and soul to this matter," he whispered, making Jo pull back and look at him in utter surprise.

"How did you know?" she asked him flat out shocked. Alex smiled sadly.

"Jackson told me," he reported back. Jo breathed out a small _oh,_ looking down, their fingers entwined on both hands.

"I thought you were talking in general," she smiled, closing her eyes.

"I was," Alex told her, making her lean against him again.

"How can you?" Alex sighed. "How can you still do it? How do you do it?"

"I have you," Alex told her without fuss, though, right after she had shaped her question. At this, Jo looked up and narrowed her eyes in heartbreak. The good kind though. She cupped his cheek and pulled him down for a gentle kiss.

"I'm sorry," Jo breathed. "I know you've told me over and over again not to get into it that much," she actually started apologizing.

"Jo," Alex frowned and smiled at the same time. "I was just trying to prepare you for the worst. I knew you weren't gonna stop and that's okay. You're a doctor. You care about your patients. It'd be bad if you had no inkling of emotion in there," he nodded at her. "And I'm here and you have me, and you can let yourself fall. But then we're gonna get up again, together, and we'll go into work again, together, and you're gonna face Anne again, and you're both gonna be alright, because you _can_ make it through this. And she will too," Alex smoothed his arms across Jo's back, rounding her shoulders then and holding onto her tightly, feeling her palms pressing against his shoulder blades, her elbows at his waist, her lips kissing his biceps. She nodded before whispering against him shakily.

"So, I'll have until tomorrow to be okay again?"

"You have as long as you need."


	9. Found

[Early February]

"So then he was like, well, _maybe once you're out of this hospital bed, we can talk about dating again_ , I mean, can you believe this guy?" Anne looked at her with wide eyes and incredulity written across her face. Jo snorted. "Ahh, ugh, a little warning would be nice," she flinched when Jo kept working on her. Jo thinned her lips and stayed quiet.

"Don't listen to him, he's a jerk," Laura called over towards them. Anne turned her head over towards her neighbor and nodded.

"Right?" she went on passionately. "I mean, come on! Who does he think he is? Who does he think I am? _I_ was going through all this… it's been… what?" At this the patient turned back towards Jo. "I've been hanging out with Snow White here for almost a year now," Jo chuckled at Anne's rant. So did Laura. The young doctor had to smile about the new found friendship between them. "Well, anyways, is that what he thought marriage looks like? Me going through hard times and him coming and going as he pleases? Um, no thank you," she spat out. Jo nodded as a backup.

"Uhh, man candy at 12 o'clock, Anne, do try to get him to take you out on _your almost like new leaving the hospital_ date," Laura hissed over. "Oh my, he's even coming clooooser, here goes your chance, love," both ladies giggled, making Jo look up and over to the glass doors, trying to see who they were talking about, raising her eyebrows when she met Alex's eyes, and smiling when he knocked on the glass quickly. Jo put down the instruments and scooted away from the hospital bed.

"Will you excuse me for a second?" Jo rolled her eyes when they squealed.

"Oh my, it's _her_ man candy, phew, that's one hot piece of..," Anne started saying when Jo shot her back a look, making her shut up and laugh instead, Jo smiling genuinely when sliding open the door and walking out towards him.

"Hey," Jo looked up at Alex, frowning at his street clothing. "Where're you off to?" She latched onto the zipper of his coat, fanning it. Alex sighed before he couldn't hide the smile anymore. Jo mirrored his face but questioningly.

"A nurse called me from down at a San Diego hospital," he informed her, pulling his shoulders up. "They found Meredith," he told her. Jo widened her eyes and stretched her neck.

"What? Are you serious? Is she okay?"

"Um, yeah," Alex chuckled, "She… had a baby," he shook his head in part surprise and part amusement, Jo having the same emotions written across her face, disbelief shining from her eyes. They stared at each other for a moment or two before she started chuckling, him joining in.

"Well, alright," Jo said, still smiling. "I'm so glad she's okay though," she tugged at his zipper. "Are you going down there right now?"

"Mh yeah," Alex threw his thumb over his shoulder. "There's a cab waiting for me out there," he told her. "I just came to tell you real quick," he said, leaning down to peck her lips. Jo nodded, still smiling. "I have no idea how long this will take me though," he shook his head at her insecurely now.

"It will take you as long as it needs," Jo reassured him, pecking his lips again before pushing him towards the exit. "Go," she mouthed, smiling when he walked away. "Oh, hey Alex," Jo called after him, with the best feeling inside her.

"What?" he asked, stopping and turning again. Jo jogged up towards him and tilted her head slowly, reaching for his cheek and smoothed her thumb across it. Before she let loose of the words, she beamed at him.

"You're her emergency contact," she told him ceremoniously. Alex smiled and looked down, as if embarrassed.

"I know," he admitted.

"She'd always planned to keep you posted somehow, whatever may have happened," she told him. Alex nodded.

"I know," he repeated. Jo nodded at him before letting him go once more, walking back towards the sliding doors, pushing them open, Anne grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Prince Charming isn't done yet," the patient shook her head at Jo, making her frown and turn her head back, actually finding Alex walk back towards her swiftly. She startled when he grabbed her hand and fiercely pulled her behind the nurses' counter, taking her into an embrace and kissing her passionately. Jo was completely overwhelmed, backing away a little, blushing and tilting her head, so he couldn't kiss her lips anymore but her cheek instead.

"Alex," she tried pacing him. " _I'm working._ " When she looked back up at him and saw the raw emotion in his eyes, though, she forgot everything around them, and cupped his cheeks, kissing him again. The kiss phased into a hug, their bodies melting together. Jo sensed him kissing her neck over and over again, before she heard him mumble against her skin.

"Thank you."

Jo closed her eyes and smiled, feeling her cheek muscles exhausting themselves more than all of last year probably.

"I would have never made it through this year without you."

Jo broke the hug and shook her head. "You would have," she told him quietly. "I'm glad you decided it was okay to let me be part of it, though," she told him. Alex shook his head and marveled at her.

"You have no idea how much I love you, do you?" Jo laughed.

"Will you go already? I wanna see that freaking meant-to-be gorgeous itty bitty baby," she winked at him. Alex chuckled, and they walked out together. She slid the door open to the burn unit, and stood, mouthing her goodbyes at him. He winked at her, before leaning into the ward all of a sudden, waving at Anne and then Laura.

"Nice to finally meet you, ladies," he chucked out, making Jo roll her eyes and the ladies squeal with delight. He bent down and kissed her cheek one more time before rushing out, leaving nothing but a joyful buzz in the air.


	10. Valentine's

[Valentine's]

Jo chucked her scrub cap into her locker, brushing her hair with her fingers and sighed. Today had been so exhausting. Good exhausting. Still, exhausting. She changed clothes quietly, keeping to herself amongst the other residents, until Steph breezed in, clapping her butt, grinning at her.

"Hey, what the-," Jo turned back towards her, frowning at Steph's face.

"So, your boyfriend still MIA?" Jo just grunted, putting on her shoes, looking at them angrily. "Great," she chimed up. Jo rolled her eyes, annoyed with Steph's constant picking on Alex. "So you can join the singles' club at Joe's tonight, it's _pay three, get one off_ night," she seemed cheerful.

"Seriously? Is that a thing?"

"Yeah-uh," Steph gave her back, scooting around on her spot on the bench next to Jo. "Awesome, isn't it?"

"It's pretty damn stupid," Jo gave her back. "We'll have passed out drunks at the E.R. all night tonight," she told her matter-of-factly. Steph raised her eyebrows, moving her head left and right, mimicking Jo's rant.

"Why are you being so uptight?"

"Ugh, I'm not," Jo replied in irritation, getting up and shouldering her purse.

"So, you coming?"

"Sure, what else am I supposed to do with myself tonight, right," Jo slammed her locker shut. It wasn't like she was a person to celebrate Valentine's. But it'd been way too long since Alex had left for San Diego. Granted, she'd told him however long it took was fine with her, but she was needy too. They walked out together, small talking mostly, Jo's mood leveling out a bit with the distraction. They determinedly strode through the front entrance, Jo immediately facing Stephanie when said one groaned loudly and cursed. "What?" Jo widened her eyes.

"I guess I'll be on my own tonight after all," she nodded her head at the kiss and ride a short walk away. Jo turned her head, immediately feeling like jumping in joy. _Oh my God!_ Her grin spread across her whole face, half forgetting Stephanie at it, when she spotted Alex leaning against his car casually, seemingly waiting for her.

"I'll catch you later," she absent-mindedly told Steph, only getting a wave and an angry _yeah, yeah_ , walking right up towards Alex, her steps a little longer, a little quicker, stopping in front of him, making him look up at her with a seductive look on his face, hiding a smirk. Jo's eyes were sparkling and she felt a shot go through her when Alex gently squeezed the tips of her fingers on her right hand, her not even having noticed him grab for them, too distracted with smiling at him. "You came back," she breathed out, having lost her voice. Alex smiled widely.

"I did," he just said. They stared at each other for another bit, both trying to not break the spell, before Jo saw from the corner of her eye how Alex brought the hand he'd been hiding behind his back until now to the front, and she looked down, snorting instantly, looking back up at him with an even wider smile.

"Seriously?" She commented the red rose he was holding out to her. Alex nodded.

"Seriously." Jo shook her head, and then frowned, her eyes still amused without end.

"That is _so_ unlike you," she squinted her eyes closed to stress that statement. Alex chuckled voicelessly before sobering up to neutral, sighing.

"Well," he started. "I'd say I was _so_ unlike me this past year…," he gave her. Jo tilted her head and smiled again, lovingly. She could literally feel the love pouring out of her own eyes. Then she shook her head barely noticeably.

"You'd have been way enough," she breathed out. "I don't need no roses," she smiled, leaning into him and kissing softly, sensing the huge amount of relief spreading within her, Alex wrapping his arms around her waist. Jo leaned back slightly, trying to deal with the intensity, before Alex broke it and gazed at her smilingly. They enjoyed the silence for a bit, just rubbing their noses together. When they pulled back, keeping their heads at comfortable conversational space, him still hugging her, and Jo playing with Alex's coat, she looked up at him timidly."Did you bring her back?"

"I did," Alex nodded.

"Did she really have a baby?" Jo inquired, still stumped about that.

"She did," Alex wriggled his eyebrows, joy written all over his face, making her smile too. "She had another girl," he informed her.

"Aw," Jo scrunched up her forehead. "Is she as cute as I imagine her?"

"She is," Alex observed Jo's positive reaction. "As a button," he added quietly, leaning in and kissing her cheek right next to ear, softly, as if it were just a reminder of a real kiss, fading away quickly but at the same time, leaving a vibe where he had touched her skin. Jo smiled, shrugging her shoulder with the excitement and giddiness accumulating inside her. Then she laughed, thinking about what and how he had just talked to her.

"Oh," she cackled, shaking her head at him with glistening eyes.

"What?" Alex snickered.

"You're just trying to wrap me around your pinky finger, aren't you?" She licked her lips, anticipating an honest answer, her voice teasing. Alex smiled.

"I'm not," he rolled his eyes. Jo laughed out loud, watching his face go from one rosy shade to the next, averting his eyes. When he matched their eyes again, he looked genuine though, pulling her closer, Jo cupping his cheeks. "Happy Valentine's Day," he whispered towards her, mocking her at it. Jo's smile went from a wide one to a toothy one, relishing in this moment. It took about thirty seconds, or maybe freaking years, but when she opened her mouth, she had never been surer.

"I love you."


	11. Settle again

[Late February]

"Sweetie, wait up, these steps are super steep and I don't want you to fall," Jo ran up after Sofia with her arms and hands loaded with stuff, having taken the girl over from her mommy when said one had to go into emergency surgery a minute after she had gone off the clock. Since Arizona had promised her she'd pay her back and Jo had grown to love that little girl and Sofia had taken to her too _and_ Arizona had told her that Callie was supposed to be on her way over to their house, she had been okay with that, had gotten the girl from daycare and driven her home. Now she was running after that tiny whirlwind, trying for her to not get hurt. Sofia giggled and chimed when toddling towards the door, Jo catching up and unlocking it for her. "Careful, small step," she told her, Sofia dutifully obeying. She ran into the hallway, and Jo heard sudden commotion.

"Sofia," Callie's off voice wafted towards her in disbelief. "What are you doing here sweetie?" Jo heard her get up and closed the door behind her, watching the little girl vanish in the living room and following.

"Hey," she greeted them all, earning four surprised glances.

"Where's Arizona?" Callie asked her with wide eyes, hugging the girl. "Why's she with you?" Jo sighed.

"Emergency came in, had to go back in," Jo explained.

"So, she picked you to give her kid to?" Pierce asked. Jo looked at her in offense, throwing her hands in the air.

"What is it about me that screams kidnapper? I wanted to be of help, I got her from daycare along with a hundred other things Arizona told me to do and brought her here, since, _surprise_ ," Jo wiggled her hands. "That's where she would have ended up anyways," she ended her rant in a sour face.

"Why are you so mad?" Sofia came back to stand with her, tugging at her shirt. Jo smiled down at her.

"All those grown up doctors think they can be rude to me all the time, but I won't let them," Jo bent down and wriggled her nose at the little one, making her laugh. Then she turned round and put her fists into her waist.

"Don't be rude to my auntie Jo. She's the _best_ ," she gave them with narrowed eyes, making them all look at her, shocked really. Jo snorted before swooping the girl onto her hip and whispered into her ear.

"You go girl!" She took a couple of steps out of the room, facing back while walking when Callie called after them.

"Um, where are you taking my daughter?"

"I'm gonna get her a snack, cause it's about her bed time now and she hasn't had one since late snack at day care," Jo sassed back, leaving their immediate vicinity. Callie looked completely taken aback, pointing towards the kitchen and turning her head slowly towards Alex.

"I didn't know these two knew each other that well," she shook her head, in surprise mostly. Alex shrugged.

"They've been hanging out a whole lot whenever it's Robbins' turn," he informed them.

"Okay," Callie nodded. "I just wish I had known," she said. "I mean, I wouldn't have been this snappy with her. But this just... happened completely out of the blue," she explained. Mer chuckled, making Alex look over at her and smile, enjoying her getting better.

"She's just practicing for her own batch," she smiled. "By the way," she turned over towards Alex, raising her eyebrows. "She can have mine too for a while, I have lots of them now," Mer smiled, winking. Alex laughed, rolling his eyes, watching as Callie wandered off to go visit with Jo and Sofia in the kitchen. He grabbed for another piece of pizza and chewed on it when Maggie chimed up.

"Oh, are you guys trying?" Alex widened his eyes and cleared his throat after swallowing.

"Mer's just rambling," he told her. Meredith furrowed her brow, still politely smiling though, shaking her head.

"I remember you telling me a while ago… what's it been now… a year? You're gonna… _marry that girl_ ," she reminded him. "We were sitting right here…," she told him, making him blush. "And what's it been now… three years? No… has it? Or more? Well, anyways, it's been forever… when are you ever gonna have the guts to ask her?" she teased him. Alex sighed, trying to avoid that conversation.

"She's right, you know," Maggie nodded, pointing her beer at the stairways now, making them all watch Jo help Sofia up the steps, Callie following them. "I mean, just look at her," she commented. "She's a natural," she said. Alex bit his lower lip awkwardly, when they both stared him down after the three girls had vanished upstairs. "What are you waiting for?" He shrugged.

"Oh, are you still wounded from your first attempt? Once bitten, twice shy?" Meredith teased him with a very Mer-like-voice, making him smile.

"Shut up," he hissed, but good-naturedly, when seeing Jo rush down the stairs again.

"Hey Wilson," Meredith called out to her, making his girlfriend stop short mid-step and raise her eyebrows. Alex elbowed her gently, trying to repeat his warning from before. Mer smiled over at him. "Why don't you come have a beer with us?" Jo stared at her, not moving an inch. Alex and Maggie both let their necks slide forwards lightly, awaiting a reaction, but Mer only laughed. "I promise, I won't bite," she smiled.


End file.
